Cara

Cara M(cMenamin)- member of the Moscow Ballet (performing the Nutcracker to critical acclaim), lead researcher on dolphin mating habits in the South Pacific, editor of Teen Life Magazine, founder of The Gap, of Italian descent, upcoming cast member of the Jersey Shore 2: Getting Guided, cartoonist for the New Yorker, administrative assistant during the Clinton administration, roommate of Monica Lewinsky (famously found the dress in question), has ties to the Italian, Russia, Mexican, Lithuanian, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, North Korean, Iranian, and Brazilian crime families, the only mistress Tiger Woods truly loved, tried to get Dumbledore to "switch teams", set up Mr.and Mrs. Pacman, Miley Cyrus' backup dancer, spiritual consultant to Madona, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Barry Bonds, Kanye West, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and the Dalai Lama, served as a roadie for NSYNC, had an illicit affair with Lance Bass, upcoming member of the Real World: Sicily, refused to help an old woman cross the street, served as a reporter for WLXY Anchorage reporting on hole-fishin' and snow, is the reason NSYNC broke up

Tash and Landis

Tasha Herbert- noted poet, writer, screenwriter, columnist, novelist, adult novelist, adult magazine contributor, journalist, editorialist, and jingle writer, served as a teaching assistant for Professor McGonagall during her lectures on Transfiguration 1995-1996, quit due to sexual harassment claims levied against Professor Sprout, has served time on the "street", escaped Jack the Ripper: had just come from the spice store and when attacked blew pepper into his face coining the term pepper spray, noted drug kingpin of Manchester, England (basically she peddled weed to kids), successfully cured AIDS but is holding out for the best price, served time on the US Supreme Court and sexually harassed Clarence Thomas, her screenplay contributions include: The Lion King, Fast times at Ridgemont High, Home Alone 3, Shrek 2, Night at the Museum, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and Boogie Nights, recently married to Edward from Twilight.

Landis Atkinson- a member of Wall Street, a member of Main Street, the people's politician, economic advisor to the Ford administration, told Henry Kissinger to go f... himself, told to go f... himself by Richard Nixon and Richard Simmons, editor of the Wall Street Journal (resigned to due to insider trading on People Magazine stock), has fought in the war room, first person to lead the G-8 summit who did not hold public office, had a strange encounter in Alabama, involved a goat and a tractor, has been romantically linked to Eva Mendes, Heidi Klum and Sara Jessica Parker in his dreams, has been romantically linked to his work in real life, a guest lecturer at the London School of Economics (resigned due to capitalist sympathies, warned Neville Chamberlain about Hitler (not Churchill), co-written a book with Joe Buck about the intricacies of baseball, noted studies on the spiders of Australia, know who's the boss, producer of Lady Gaga's most recent album, recently engaged to Hilary Duff

Emmett's Time

Emmett Buckley- noted three point specialist, battle of the brains captain, general slacker, founded Douglas Southall Freeman High School, Principal from 1967-1975, graduate of J. Sargent Reynolds Community College, Masters in Business Technology from ECPI, visiting scholar at Hogwarts in the 1950s, Dumbledore's first kiss, has been known to disappear at times, relationships have included young asian women lacking hair, knows who shot JR, attempted to stop Lee Harvey Oswald but was too late, Jack Ruby didn't shoot Oswald....Emmett did, has fathered twelve children by thirteen women (how he did it is a mystery), noted for his academic studies on Ancient Greek male erotica, conceived the idea for Seinfeld, was the co-writer of Goodwill Hunting with Matt Damon....not Ben Afleck, directed the AFLAC duck commercials, will assume the role of Dalai Lama in three years as pending his contract, has insulted the Pope to his face, has sold his own indulgences.

Hamilton's Contribution's to the World

Notable Freeman Alumni

Andy Allen- Track and Field Captain, avid outdoors man, mustache aficionado, sometime drunkard, part-time pitcher, part-time catcher, all-time lover, cured polio, invented the wheel, re-invented the wheel, the best thing since sliced bread, columnist for the Pittsburgh Post Gazette (lifestyle section), former editor of Boy's Life Magazine, Kirby fan, Kirby Puckett fan, son of Tom and Cathy, uncle of Jake O'Connor, father of Emmett Buckley, sister of Andrew Gilligan, noted for his marriage to Elizabeth Taylor, visited the Neverland Ranch as a child, 6' 6" and growing at an inch per week.

Jake O'Connor- Football, Soccer, Basketball, Dodgeball, Color Guard Captain, lead pianist for O.A.R., served in the Czech Republic Navy (dishonorably discharged), editor of the Washington Post 1994-1998 (resigned due to an affair with a White House intern), graduated from Prarie View A&M University with a major in Linguistics and a minor in French Polynesian history, left the Republican Party in 2002 due to lifestyle choices, has traveled to eight continents (yes, 8), has been to hell and back, noted for his quiet, steely reserve, invented the English Muffin, threw the party Miley Cyrus refers to in her song, roadie for Kurt Cobain, guest role on the Andy Griffith show, personally watched grass grow

Andrew Gilligan- director of Notting Hill, guest star on M.A.S.H season 3, Member of the British Parliament, 1978-1985 (resigned due to Irish Sympathies), avid baker and candlestick maker, noted runner, swimmer, biker, pottery maker, enjoys Pottery Barn and Sears, did in fact have sexual relations with that woman, graduate of Yale University, member of the Skull and Bones Society (hazed George W. Bush, John Kerry, and that Matt Damon character from that movie), owner of Gilligan's Apothecary, recent guest lecturer at Hogwarts, visiting professor at Durmstrang, has found a leprechaun....twice, lead actor in the musical "CATS", has written a bad romance with lady gaga, famous friends include: Lil Wayne, Shaq, LeBron James, Kenny Lofton, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, and the late John Candy

Harrison Baronian- Armenian and Brazilian descent, a lead anthropologist in the study of Argentinian llamas, has made a salmon swim downstream, only attends Nashville parties, has never seen a stiletto, has served time in a North Korean prison, unsuccessful bid for Canadian Prime Minister in 2006, has put Pinochio to shame, recently appointed to the Mississippi state Supreme Court, has tamed a lion and a shark, has never heard of Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris has heard of Harrison, two time Olympic gold medalist in diving, torch bearer at the 2000 Sydney games, got Sandra Day O'Connor to loosen up, has led a horse to water and denied it water, has climbed the Andes Mountains, has found beer colder then the Rockies

Pearl of Wisdom

Those who seek it will find it

- stealing is theft
- have you ever wondered what life would be like as a penguin?
- i was recently informed that a koalas fingerprints is identical to that of a human. Does this mean that unidentified fingerprint crimes are koalas? Dangerous criminal koalas? God help us
- Are you afraid of the dark? I am
- How creepy would that be if dogs could talk?
- andy likes board games
- can penguins and seals ever get along? When will the violence end?
- do polar bears find true love?
- Is Miley Cyrus the voice of our generation? I sure hope so.
- I never cried for Argentina... Argentina never cried for me
- I wonder if there is a market for mead these days
- Gollum is my homeboy

- i would love to get drunk in a saloon

- that's classic phil

- im still a little hung up about how im going to be killed

- just saw a dominoes delivery guy talking to himself in his car

- people say football is a game of inches. They're wrong, it's a game of yards..... dumbasses

- people say you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I still cannot dunk

- I've always thought of Emmett as Dumbledore